CS Superchick
Shortly after a friend and I began a computer science class this semester, we noticed this strikingly beautiful girl who usually sat directly in front of us. Now statistically speaking, we remarked, this is an oddity unto itself — first, there is a very great shortage of girls in the world who look that good, a second, an infintessimal number of said girls are actually enrolled in third-year CS courses rather than capitalizing on their physical attractiveness by being movie stars. (This notion would later come back to haunt us.)
Anyway, all throughout the first month of class, my friend was bugging me to ask her out, partly because he wanted to take my mind off his sister and partly because he knew I didn't stand a chance. (No doubt he was interested in watching the spectacle of my crushing failure.) Figuring I had very little to lose, I decided to give it a try, and after learning her name (which happened to be the same as my mother's — how's that for an Oedipus complex?), I initiated conversation one day after class with the suggestion that we might do our homework together. She seemed receptive to the idea, and we ended up doing just that the next day. Later on in the week, I was rather pleasantly surprised when she requested that we do the next assignment together as well, perhaps after going out for dinner. I graciously accepted the invitation, which was the first of several more over the next few weeks. All of the dinner dates were done on a very casual, just-friends basis, which seemed to be just fine for both of us.
On one of the nights we were supposed to have dinner and do homework, I went to school and paged her online to ask if she was ready to go. She told me to come right up (she lives on campus), so I told her I'd be there in five minutes. I went up to her dorm room and knocked on the door — she immediately answered the door and bade me enter. Having been in her room only a couple of times before, I do what everyone does when they enter an unfamiliar environment — I swept my eyes across the room to survey the surroundings. Starting at one corner of the room, I glanced at her closet… lazily moved over to the dresser on which was arranged an array of baubles… slowly looked past the well-made bed… gazed over to the TV on which was playing a pornographic movie… calmly glanced over at the desk… and then, realizing what I had just seen, my jaw nearly hit the floor and eyes shot back to the television, where they remained glued for several seconds. I quickly looked back at my host, who was facing me but had her back turned to the TV. I looked at her with what must have been utter disbelief and looked back at the television. To my amazement, it dawned on me that the very beautiful and unclothed actress on the TV screen was none other than the same person who stood in front of me in the room. I looked back at the real-life girl, who was staring back at me with a puzzled look on her face. After looking back and forth at her and the TV several times, not knowing what to say, it suddenly occurred to her what I was so surprised about. A genuine look of embarrassment sprung to her face and she immediately turned around and shut off the TV, uttering some oath in Cantonese. She then spun around, smiled demurely, and asked me if I wanted a sandwich.
Needless to say, I was speechless and could only nod in approval. The rest of the night passed without incident (though I found I was simply unable to eat the sandwich she made me) — she never made reference to the movie, either that night or any night. Very soon after that night, I learned she had a boyfriend who lived in Buffalo and I met him soon afterwards when he came to visit. To this day I'm not sure exactly how or why I ended up seeing that movie — the only three reasons I can think of are seduction, exhibitionism, or absent-mindedness, none of which seems to be very reasonable, given her boyfriend, her courtesy, her apparent lack of romantic interest in me, and the fact that generally people just don't forget to turn off pornographic movies of themselves when others enter the room. Then again, how many people regularly watch pornographic movies of themselves? Perhaps I just don't understand women… <g>
